Happiness part deux

This morning, on the bus, I wrote a post about happiness and promptly deleted it by accident..

With the week I’ve had, I’d call it poetic justice.

Since 6:57 this morning I’ve had more time to contemplate. To reflect. 

To apologize.

Turns out apologizing to my lady for bickering made me feel better than anything. 

See, Kim’s an incredible person who deserves the best in life. I do my best to provide for her and the kids. 

But.

But, it’s the selfishness of my alcohol addiction that hurts her. Hurts us.

What is happy? 

Happy is the moments we laugh together. Shop together. Hell, go to Walmart together.

Happy is real life.

Happy is sobriety.

Unhappy is the chaos. The chaos I create. The chaos, for whatever reason, I create every time.

Every time I open a bottle.

I’ve said it before, but feel it stronger than ever before.

I’m done with booze. Done with chaos.

Done with hurting.

Hurting others, hurting me.

I’d like to be happy.

I choose to be happy.

I’ll make Kim happy, all I need to do is figure out how to make me happy.

I will.

My word.