My birthday falls at the end of December. Every year I find it a convenient time for quiet reflection. An evaluation of my life, if you will.
I’ve found Father’s Day similarly convenient in recent years.
My father and I are estranged.
We don’t talk & haven’t for years.
To be perfectly honest it’s pretty much all to do with things I did (some rather terrible) and things I should’ve done.
I accept the brunt of the blame for the failings of the relationship.
As the years have passed, I’ve moved beyond anger, swallowed regret and live in an acceptance that this is the way my father and I will be.
But.
But, I see on social media all the postings of kids (adult and not) with their dads.
The happy memories, the life lessons, the cliche photos of days gone by.
Then I remember some of the cool things I learned from and did with my dad
Learning to solder electrical connections in a tv, when you actually fixed your tv.
Putting snow tires on in the lane way. Tuning up a a 73 Chrysler (in the lane way).
An aside, I’m pretty certain I was the only kid in grade 5 who knew how to adjust a 2 barrel carburetor.
Learning to drive the convertible on the highway between Varna and Bayfield when my parents separated. Perhaps that’s when I learned driving could be an outlet.
And why that car is so important to me.
And then.
And then I let anger, bitterness, alcohol and addiction engulf me.
And then.
And then it became today..
For all the great memories and lessons, I’m truly grateful.
For the turmoil and conflict, I’m equally remorseful.
Happy Father’s Day, Father…
bradcurtis68 