So, I’ve shared about the voices I hear.
The voices that try to control me.
This lead to a massively uncomfortable conversation with Kim about how bad things can get. I expected as much.
I did not anticipate the voices’ reaction. They have redoubled their efforts. They scream in my head.
They scream awful things I’m supposed to accept.
How do I share this?
How do I tell her?
My job as a man is to protect the ones I love. Ensure their safety.
How do I protect them from my own self loathing?
The answer is “I don’t”…
I can be honest about the terror and agony I feel every second of every day, but I cannot hide it.
I cannot protect her from this.
I need to accept I cannot control these episodes I go through, I cannot hide them from my family any longer.
A man accepts responsibility for his actions, I must hold myself accountable for my mental health issue.
I must be better…..