Puzzles

Well, let’s start from the fact I’m a dumbass mechanic…

I can likely fix anything you’ve got broken.

I have a great analytical mind.

I find problems others can only dream of.

I really am a good mechanic.

I’m a drunk..

I look for a solution every day.

I look for help & guidance every day.

I do not want to drink any more.

Tomorrow I want to be better than I am .

Tomorrow I want to believe I’m worthy

Tomorrow I want to be the man Kim needs
Today.

Today I reflect

 Today, I get to hate myself  a little more

Today I can wish it was tomorrow 

It starts….

Again.

I feel it.

An ache.

No. Not an ache. Not even physical pain.

Just.

Just the inside shit again.

Why? 

You take your meds. You go to your appointments. You stay sober.

You stay sober.

But. 

When will it end? When will the inside hurt stop? When will I want to enjoy life?

It. 

Hurts.

And I don’t know why, and I don’t know how to ask for help.

Good thing I smile..